February 2011
57 posts
They forgot Uncle Leo in the Oscars dead actors...
HELLO?
thatstrangegirl asked: What kind of dog is Chewy? Besides super adorable of course.
4 tags
So I was just video chatting with the fam
And the entire time they couldn’t hear me, so I was going through all my settings to make sure my microphone was working, making sure my drivers were up to date, all that jazz. They kept telling me I should have just bought a Mac so I wouldn’t have these issues.
They had their laptop on mute the entire time and didn’t realize it.
Annoying the shit out of me.
Her over the super loud music: Hey, I like your shirt! Me: What? Her: Your shirt, it’s from Urban Outfitters! Me: What? Her pointing: Your shirt! Urban Outfitters! Me: Ohhhh. Yup! Her 5 minutes later: I love that shirt! Me: Yea… I know. I’m going to the bathroom. Her 10 minutes later: We’ve got to stop meeting like this Playboy! Me: Jesus Christ.
(shirt in question)
You know when you're super excited for NOT going...
Because half of your crew is home and you have a huge fucking project due Monday so you figure you’ll stay in and do work and wake up early not hungover and just be feeling awesome and productive.
Then your friend comes in and tells me he just broke up with his girlfriend and he really wants to go to the bars, and since half the crew is gone you pretty much half to go out.
Oh well, I...
1 tag
Anyone in Vancouver want to make $50 →
1 tag
Making my non-Jewish friend a fake JDate account
Him: They ask how much I drink
Me: What are the top two choices?
Him: Frequent and On Occasion
Me: Is Thursday considered an occasion
Him: No?
Me: I'd go frequent then...
2 tags
“I actually taught a class on dolphin ethics, so please excuse me if I ramble on...”
– My TA, who has been talking about dolphins in a religious studies class for the past 15 minutes.
1 tag
Meanwhile, in Atlanta. →
1 tag
2 tags
Girls in Yoga Pants.com →
I love the internet.
Do most guys actually lift up the toilet seat?
I always hear the whole “guys always forget to lower the seat” saying, but do most guys lift the seat? I’ve always just flopped it out and started my business. I’ve never have to aim or anything and I never splash the seat. Maybe I’m just a straight shooter.
I just asked my roommate and he said he does lift the seat, so now I’m curious.
3 tags
1 tag
The Maury Drinking Game
Friend: We can bet on whether he's the father or not, and losers take shots.
Me: Yea, but that's only like 5 shots an hour. We gotta DVR a bunch of them.
Other friend: How about we take a shot anytime a guest is missing a tooth
Me: We don't want to die, let's find a middle ground.
Mike Hicks = Serial Killer and Female
Me: When are you going back home again?
Her: The 26th.
Me: You should go home one week later
Her: Why?
Me: Because my friend is coming to Chicago and I wanted to see him
Her: Which friend?
Me: Mike, he's going to be in the city that weekend
Her: How do you know him?
Me: The internet
Her: .... the internet?
Me: Yea, we read each other's blogs
Her: You know him from... the internet. You've never met him in real life.
Me: No... we talk all the time online though
Her: .... what if he's a serial killer woman?
Me: I'm blogging this.
40° out?
Hoodie weather!
Online dating becoming mainstream is my worst fear
Attractive people with good personalities should be contained to their geographic location to find dates, they should not be able to venture out and find other attractive people with good personalities. My worst fear.
Anonymous asked: okay soupnazi, i first started following you because my older sister told me to, and she's never steered me wrong before. at first i was like, damn, this kid is hilarious and kind of an ass, i bet we would be great friends if he went to my school.
and then i kept following you and gradually i realized that you are not really an ass. not at all. you're actually kind of...
and then i kept following you and gradually i realized that you are not really an ass. not at all. you're actually kind of...
“You seem to know a lot about Justin Bieber…”
– My roommate to me, thanks tumblr.
“Every person you have ever met, every person you will pass in the street today,...”
– Sam Harris
1 tag
My dad can be such a dad sometimes
Him: How's the spring break planning?
Me: Pretty sure we're going to South Padre
Him: Alright... I'll let you go... under one condition
Me preparing myself for the worst: Ok... what?
Him: Promise me you won't go to Mexico
Me: Where do you even get this from?
Him: I just don't want you to go on a ferry to Mexico and have a kidney removed.
Roommate talking about this girl
Him: Why does she have to look so... Jewish.
Me: But you're Jewish?
Him: Yeah, but I don't want a girl that looks Jewish.
Me: You're a self hating Jew!
Him: All Jews hate themselves, it's what makes us Jewish.
What are some good tumblr music blogs?
Any genre, GO GO GO.
Woke up to see that I played Oregon Trail blacked...
I ended up dying of dysentery, as usual.
